The Lap of my God

Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. - Matthew 11:28

I have questions, so many, many questions, if I could sit down with God and see him face to face for a coffee date, it would last hours...days probably.

Lately I have been thinking about God and his plan for me. His plan for my tomorrow and the tomorrows after that. Could he have not tucked a little life plan or map in with me while I was growing in my Mother's womb. Like some of the dolls I played with when I was a kid, they had little cards that came with them, full of information. Why couldn't he just sent when of those down with me. 

My faith and trust in God is constantly being tested. This past year we have set up our own plans for our marriage and our family but things didn't fall into place as we had hoped. Derek's work, my work, expanding our family. All these things not going how I wanted them to go, or how I planned for them to go have caused me to really look at how much I trust god, how much I am relying on him and finding comfort in him.

I like to be in control, I have learnt that about myself as an adult, control and me are besties! But we do not have a healthy relationship. If I do not have control over something, big or small, I get anxious. Not the sweaty hands, bouncing foot on the floor. It's more the little storm that builds and builds in my tummy as I over think it all and try to plan how I can "SAVE THE DAY" {..said with a loud voice, wearing a supermanwoman costume and cape, with hand in a fist in the air}I quickly look for comfort in people, friends, family, stranger beside me in line at Wal-mart. Anyhow who can help me with my troubles and give me some comfort.

After talking with a friend and a few family members, I was reminded that it is always going to be out of my control. Why should I be striving for something that is impossible. I was also reminded to take comfort in God.

Taking comfort in God...what does that mean to you? (Ya YOU...the only person reading this little blog I am sure hehe). Taking comfort in God looks like this in my mind. You know when you were young, and you had a problem in life, you would curl up on the couch, rest your head on your mother or father's lap and they would rub your head while you shared your worries, that is what I picture God's comfort like. I climb up on the giant lap of God, snuggle in and he rests his gentle hand on my head. He listens to all my heartache, worries and struggles and says "Be calm, be calm my child". He never interrupts for a phone call, he never tells me he is too busy, he is just there, ignoring time and other needs to listen and comfort me.

So, seeing that I know God is there to comfort me, he has told me himself, then why do I fight it. When someone at work shows me a pile of folders and asks "do you want to handle this, or do you want me to take care of it for you?", I don't jump in and say, "Oh let me, let me".  When I have a problem with my health, I don't handle it on my own, I go to a professional. So why wouldn't I go to a professional on this, or let someone else handle it for me. Take the weight of all my troubles or problems and leave me with comfort and peace. Perhaps I am stubborn...okay, not perhaps, that one is a for sure!

So now that I have shared my little lesson with you, I will return to the lap of my God and feel at peace.